Yep, that is right, I am dying. We all are dying. Each minute we live is a minute closer to death. Scared ya huh? I don't mean I have a terminal illness or anything like that. I am 21 years old and I feel stuck. This is supposed to be the best time of my life. But, it isn't. I want a life. I feel like that has been taken away from me. Most of my issues boil down to one thing. My mother, I can connect her to almost any problem I have. Sounds like I am pointing fingers doesn't it? Don't get me wrong I am to blame too, I made conscience decisions that resulted in these actions. My decision always was to listen to her. If I had not, If I had done as I saw fit. I would not have this problem. I always blame david for alot of my issues, Yes, he is to blame somewhat. But, I look back and think. Everything I can connect to my mother. She always tells me "Don't insult me by comparing me to him". No, he wasn't there. But, doesn't that also mean he hasn't done as much damage? Everything in my life that has gone wrong...well almost. I can count back to her. When it boils down to it, listening to her is the reason I am stuck here ATM. I don't know. But, we are all dying and I want to live I want to LIVE before I die. I want to travel, Have kids go to school have a career. Go back to england. Spend time with friends. I want to be me. I want to be out of here.
No comments:
Post a Comment