Single & sexy...yea thats me NOT! I am single yea...and I am depressive about it. I am not some hot momma who can turn heads walking down the street. Tho I wish I was. Talking to him right now and going all depressive on him. Why can I never keep it together with him? everyone else I can slap a happy face on with and pretend its ok. Every time I talk to him tho I fall apart I let it all roll. It seems like it gets to him. I don't want to hurt him. I love him oh god I love him. I want to say it over and over and over. However I don't. I feel like if he realizes I love him still he will feel obligated...feel bad. Just now he was talking about how he wouldn't think twice bout screwing someone's housemate. If I told him..he'd feel the same way he did before. Guilty. Right now I am at camp pendleton with Rebecca and her family. Everyone is upstairs. I can't help but feel a sense of despair tho. It's weird. I don't know why. Being here is hard. I see rebecca and her husband and everyone else in pairs here and I wonder why am I not? Where is my prince charming ?
